Memoirs of a Big Bad

[maryperk73703]

Spike tells a story

One shot

 

A small recorder sat on the table, revealing to all within hearing range the memoir of one of the old Council’s most notorious vampires, Spike of Aurelius aka William the blood.  It’s quite a tale, and no one wanted to miss a word.  So, the room was silent except for the rough British accent that flowed from the speakers.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

 

I could write about my life before I hit Sunnyhell that first time, but everything before then was mere existence.  Both my life and unlife were merely a lead up to meeting the Slayer.  Not just any Slayer either but Buffy Summers.

 

It's a stupid name, I know.  've told her that on many occasions.  There's something about Buffy Summers though.  Somehow that petite little girl changes everyone she comes in contact with.

 

Now, I’m sure the bunch of you want to know why we ran away from good old Sunnyhell.  Well, I’ll tell you all about it.

 

When Buffy died to save us all, it was only my promise to protect Dawn until the end of the world that kept me in this godforsaken place.  I would have gladly met the sun rather than be without my Slayer.

 

One hundred and forty-eight days later I was thankful for my promise.

 

You see, Buffy’s idiot friends brought her back from the dead.  My Slayer had to dig her way out of her own grave, a broken shadow of the woman she was before she leapt off that tower.  The Scoobies tried to push me away, but my girl… she told me the truth.

 

Heaven.

 

That’s where she was when she was dead.  Of course she was.  She’s the Chosen One, selected to stand alone to fight vampires, demons, and the forces of darkness.  Where the bloody hell else would she have gone?  Stupid soddin’ pillocks.  They thought she was in a Hell dimension.

 

I have to say Buffy tried her damnedest to act normal.  She did everything those idiots expected of her, but she came to me to help her with patrol.  I think that’s the only time my Slayer felt really and truly normal.  When in doubt, patrol.

 

Not only was I the only one who knew about Heaven, I’m the only one who knew her meetin’ with tall, dark, and forehead wasn’t as pleasant as she let on.  They’ve grown apart; my Slayer and her first love.  Out of sight, out of mind, my mum used to tell me when I was a boy.  It’s really true for those two.  For me it was more like absence makes the heart grow fonder.

 

Someone or something is messin’ with my Slayer.  She came to my crypt and we got drunk and went out on our first official date.  Though, to this day, she claims it wasn’t a date.  I beg to differ.  We got drunk, beat up a demon, and puked our guts out.  Sounds like a date to me.

 

Buffy here, Spike has no idea what he’s talking about.  A date is going to a movie, holding hands, and maybe hitting lover’s lane for some smoochies.  Puking our guts out on a date?  A big ew!

 

Yeah, Slayer, let’s talk about lover’s lane.  Remember when the Bit went to snog with that boy?  The one boy who gave new meanin’ to neckin’?  That’s right.  Dawnie snogged her very own vamp boy.  Dusted the bloke too.  I was right proud of my Nibblet that night.  Amazingly, the Whelp and his demon girl let it slip that night that they had gotten engaged before the big battle with the hellgod.  No accountin’ for taste, I guess.

 

Next we had singin’ and dancin’, burnin’ and dyin’.  What a way to go.  It was all Harris’ fault.  You’d think livin’ this long on the Hellmouth would have taught him to check out that gift horse’s mouth a bit more carefully.  Fool made me sing!  I was able to save Buffy though from said burnin’ and dyin’.  I was thrilled to see that she’d shocked the idiots half to death when her little secret slipped out while singin’ and dancin’.  Used to be me encitin’ those looks of horror.  Imagine the looks if they’d caught my Slayer and I snoggin’ like the world was endin’ in the alley behind the Bronze.  Same alley we met in all those years ago.

 

Then it happened.  The reason we fled Sunnyhell.

 

It was a typical patrol.  Typical for us anyway.  Buffy and I spent the entire evening arguin’ about the technicolored kiss.  We were jumped in the last cemetery by the biggest, ugliest demon ‘ve ever had the misfortune of seein’.  It made the M’Fashnik demon we drown’d in Buffy basement look like a beauty pageant contestant.

 

The bloody creature must have been related to Polgaras.  It had a soddin’ spike in its arm about three feet long.  B’fore either Buffy or I could react, the fucker stuck it through my Slayer’s body.  I watched in horror as my girl died again before my very eyes.  I beat that son of a bitch into a bloody pulp.   I ripped it apart so badly not even its own mother would have recognized it.

 

Then, I carried my Slayer home.  Dawn was there to greet us.  She took one look at her sister and became hysterical.  I knew I had to console the girl.  There’d be time to tell the Scoobies later.  As I was tryin’ to calm the Bit down, a miracle happened. 

 

Buffy breathed.  Her heart started up again.  Her eyes blinked open in confusing and a touch of sadness.

 

It was all I could do not to go rip the heads off those idiot Scoobies, headache be damned.  They didn’t deserve to live for what they’d done to my girl.  She’d be the bloody Slayer forever.  Now it wasn’t the Nibblet I needed to protect till the end of the world.  It was Buffy.  Dawn at least would get to see heaven and her mother, but not my Slayer.

 

I knew we’d have to disappear.  If the Council got their hands on Buffy, they’d use her as an experiment.  I couldn’t have that.  I love Buffy.  Always will, till the end of time.  Buffy tried to protest, but in the end she knew I was right. 

 

I knew that we had to leave Dawn behind.  She’d slow us down and make it easier for us to be found.  Someone would question why she didn’t attend school.  Dawn is smart for someone so young, or maybe it was smart for something so old.  Thankfully our Key agreed with me.  She refused to go anyway.  She knew that if she wasn’t there to stop the Scoobies, they’d search for us for the rest of their days.

 

I promised Dawn I’d take care of the Slayer until the end of the world.  Buffy promised Dawn ‘even if was tonight’, which the Bit obviously didn’t understand, but it didn’t matter.  Buffy and I did.

 

Buffy and I left Sunnydale with the clothes on our backs and one little stuffed pig.  The rest of our lives?  Well, you’ll just have to find us and ask.

Comments

[eilowyn.livejournal.com]

Yay! Memoirsverse!

[maryperk73703.livejournal.com]

Yep. Spikey's tale.

Memoirs of a Big Bad

[cordykitten]

*g* @ Spike's version what counts as a date already.
Ah.. Buffy got immortal. Yeah I bet the Council would have loved to research that. On sad that they were forced to leave, leaving Dawn behind.

A good tale.

Re: Memoirs of a Big Bad

[maryperk73703.livejournal.com]

Well, Buffy's immortalness has been implied in all the other Memoirsverse stories. This was Spike's take on the whole deal.

Re: Memoirs of a Big Bad

[cordykitten]

*checks* I think this is the first one I've read of this series, therefore it was a surprise. Must check the others. Well do that when I go through your stories again.