maryperk73703: (The Void)
[personal profile] maryperk73703
Valentine's Day.

Chapter 24

February 14th, St Valentine's Day

Lilith found Lindsey, Knox, and Cinco inside a pool bar playing a game of pool together. “No romantic plans for the day, boys?” she asked.

Lindsey gave Lilith a pointed look. “Really, Lilah? That’s so funny I forgot to laugh.”

“You won’t think I’m funny for long.” Lilith waved the waitress over, and she ordered a beer. After the other woman left for the bar, Lilith turned back to the three men. “I can get your dicks back for you, but there’s a price.”

“What is the price?” Knox asked, his voice tinged with suspicion. He’d worked for WRH for long enough to know there were usually strings attached to any deals that demons wanted to strike up with humans.

An evil smirk settled on Lilith’s face. “D’Hoffryn needs some more vengeance demons and you boys fit the bill nicely.”

“We have to become demons to have our dicks back?” Knox exclaimed in a horrified voice.”

Cinco shrugged. A job was a job in his book. “Bueno. I accept,” he replied.

Lindsey and Knox stared at Cinco. “Really?” they said at the same time.

“You didn’t even ask about the pay and benefits,” Lindsey replied. He turned to Lilith. “What are the pay and benefits anyway?”

“There’s the power and the immortality,” Lilith replied. “I have to tell you, boys. Arashmaharr is pretty darned nice, if I say so myself. And I do.”

“How nice?” Knox asked in a suspicious voice. “Because I can imagine some pretty nice things. Good food, orgies, unlimited research grants.”

“Food,” Cinco cooed. “Tacos, burritos, enchiladas. Cinco is hungry.”

“I’m in the mood for a good old Tex-Mex barbeque,” Lindsey said. “Is there Texan food in this Arashmaharr?”

“Food, sex, whatever your little hearts’ desire,” Lilith smirked. She pulled three masculine amulets out of her pocket. “Just put these on, and Bob’s your uncle, you have dicks back and you get a whole slew of perks.”

Cinco grabbed the amulet, and he immediately put it around his neck. There was a flash of light.

“Huh, I would have never thought that you’d be the patron saint of brotherly love,” Lilith replied. “Not sure what that means exactly. I think you need to have a conference with D’Hoffryn.”

“Si,” Cinco replied. He listened carefully while Lilith gave a quick rundown on how to teleport. Cinco disappeared into thin air.

“Fine, give me the darned thing.” Lindsey grabbed the amulet away from Lilith, and he put it on. There was a flash of light that blinded everyone in the room except Lilith and Knox.

Lilith started to giggle.

Lindsey hissed.

“Patron saint of lost kittens. I love it.” Lilith laughed until she had to sit down. After she could breathe again, she waved her hand. Lindsey disappeared from the pool hall.

“You’re not going to turn me into a kitten are you,” Knox asked while he eyed the amulet hanging loosely from Lilith’s hand.

“No, that was just a small trick I played on McDonald. He’ll be back to his human form when he gets to Arashmaharr.” Lilith narrowed her eyes at Knox as she handed him the last remaining amulet.

“Great.” Knox put the amulet on.

“D’Hoffryn is a jealous master. You will be giving up your obsession with Illyria now,” Lilith said.

“What?” Knox disappeared, not realizing that it was a done deal. When he’d put on the amulet, his soul belonged to D’Hoffryn.

Lilith brushed her hands together. “Well, that was a great day’s work. I think I deserve a drink.” She wandered off towards the bar and the very handsome bartender.


Buffy's eyes widened when Joyce came down the stairs. The older woman was dressed in her favorite red dress, and she wore her best jewelry. "You look great, Mom. What's up?"

"I have a date with Oggy," Joyce replied while she put her earring in. "He's taking me to Chez Roberto's."

Buffy let out a whistle. "Way to go, Mom. That place is ultra spendy. I didn't realize you and Giles' buddy were serious."

"We are," Joyce said with a nod. "What are you and Spike planning on doing tonight?"

"I don't know." Buffy shook her head. "It's a surprise."

"Well, we can't be the only couples with Valentine's Day plans," Joyce commented.

Buffy giggled. "Nope, we sure aren't. I'm fairly certain that Anya is planning on shagging Giles into the mattress."


"Hey." Buffy threw up her hands. "Spike's words not mine. He heard her whispering in Giles' ear. I believe what he told me because a. that's how Anya operates and b. Giles turned this glorious shade of red."

Joyce chuckled. "What about Willow and Xander?"

"Well, Oz and the band have a gig down in Rocky Point. Willow's going with them to hang out," Buffy said. "Xander and Kendra are going to have pizza and go to the movies. He needs to be on his best behavior. Her Watcher is chaperoning them."

"Poor Xander," Joyce chuckled. She hadn't met Kendra's Watcher yet, but she was quite sure that he'd put a damper on any planned romance that Xander had hoped to have with Kendra.

"Only thing left to do is to find Dalton a girlfriend. There has got to be someone out there that would love to date a book-loving vampire." Buffy giggled.

Joyce shook her head. "Why don't you let him pick his own girlfriend?"

"Whoever he dates has to pass muster," Buffy replied. "Spike and I can't have some evil wench get her hands on our minion."

Joyce snapped her fingers. “Oh, not to be a downer, but your dad sent you a card. He’s hoping you can spend Spring Break in Los Angeles with him.”

“I’ll have to think about that,” Buffy grimaced. “He’s been kinda lame lately.”

“He’s still your dad, honey,” Joyce replied. “Nothing is going to change that, not even his lameness.”

Buffy laughed. “I guess so, but he’s so not meeting Spike yet. I don’t think Daddy’s ready for that experience.”

“Probably not,” Joyce agreed with a laugh.


Queen Cordelia sat majestically on her throne. She hid her nervousness from everyone gathered around the dais where she was sitting. The only one that had a clue about her feelings was Ysped. Sir Brian and Ty stood at the alert when the Groosalug marched forward with Klempt slinking along behind him.

“I am the Groosalug,” the half-demon’s voice boomed and echoed through the throne room. “I have come to win the hand of the fair Queen Cordelia.”

Cordelia gulped loudly. The Groosalug was really, really drool worthy, in her opinion.

“I know that I’m flawed,” the half demon announced. “Look at me.”

“Oh, I am,” Cordelia muttered to Ysped. “I’m not seeing any flaws.”

Ysped hummed in agreement.

“There is cow blood flowing in my veins, making me flawed,” the Groosalug continued.

Cordelia narrowed her eyes, and her gaze fell on Klempt. “You called me a cow,” she growled him.

Ysped hissed at Klempt. “It’s something the natives here started to do after the last Queen lost her throne. It’s time to remind the rabble of their place.”

“We mustn’t fall to their level though,” Sir Brian said. “Just because they’re bigoted assholes doesn’t mean we should be.”

“I’m here to enter the contest for the privilege to become the Queen’s Consort,” Groo announced while he ignored the conversation raging around him.

Cordelia laughed. “There is no contest. You’re it. You’re the Consort.”

It was clear that wasn’t the response that the Groosalug was expecting. He just stared at Cordelia in confusion. “I don’t need to prove that I am worthy of consideration despite the cow blood flowing through my veins?”

“Well, I’m all cow … I mean human,” Cordelia said. “Honestly, Ysped isn’t my type. Brian and Ty are more into each other than anything else.” She sneered at Groo’s shrinking shadow. “Klempt there is just too unattractive to be in the running.”

“I can run. I’m good at running,” Groo replied.

“Cute, but not very bright,” Cordelia muttered.

“Teachable though,” Ysped whispered in Cordelia’s ear. “I definitely approve of your Consort.”

Cordelia clapped her hands. “Alrighty then, how are we going to destroy Wolfram and Hart? Ideas, suggestions, quaint anecdotes?”
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